4 February 2026

A whole different set of problems this week. The devil is 'bringing it'. He does that anyway, whether you taunt him or not.

My ego feels so bruised, and I just can't think of anything else. How pathetic of me.

A confrontation with a guy who told me to 'jog on', and he gets recorded here for posterity. Something he doesn't deserve. He got upset with me because I did not follow the rules he had just made up on the spot. Apparently I should ride my bicycle on the pavement because he doesn't want to share the road with me. He told me to get out of 'his space'. I asked him to give me his book of rules so that next time I see him I can do what he wants me to do.

This seemed to really upset him. I can tell because he called me a retard. I returned the favour.

As he got out of the car, his mother started shouting, 'Asseblief, moenie baklei nie, in Jesus se naam!' Which I found endearing. And that gave me enough pause (it was quite a long pause, I must admit, shaking and pausing) to just ... 'jog on', as he hurled more abrasive epithets at my back.

I got a little satisfaction when I noticed that he started shaking too.

The mall security guard also entreated us not to start fighting. Afterwards, he came up to me and thanked me for not fighting, and I really appreciate him for saying that.

On my way home, a black satanic SUV sped up the narrow railway bridge I was trying to negotiate and almost ran me over.

When I arrived home, my mother made a dig at me, saying, 'Are all your days this peaceful?'

... I kinda blew up at her a bit. 'I have just almost been in a fucking fight, so don't say that to me. Jissis.'

Now she is not speaking to me.

Funny though, she doesn't seem at all curious about the fight I almost got into. I guess she is too wrapped up in her own bruised ego at the moment. Just like me.

I will have to try and contemplate this painting again tomorrow. I just can't seem to get over myself right now.

5 February 2026

Into the cloud of unknowing we go. What will we find there? No expectations. What will we be able to put into words, and what will be left behind? What will be brought back in words, and what will we leave in the cloud?

Has he moved on?

This colour and the 'H' sound seem to go together. Ho, who, hoo, ha. Laughter. Cool.

Cool is from pagan African origins, when they were possessed by a spirit during a ritual, and they kept a cool, expressionless, trance-like face.

Did Christianity look like this with Jesus? Are there passages describing him in a trance-like state? Being filled with the Holy Spirit, but filled, not possessed. Because God does not possess us to the point where we lose consciousness, to the point where we lose ourselves and He possesses us, takes absolute control. He just is not interested in doing that. He is into loving us.

Where do we go when we sleep?

The land belongs to God, and He gives it to whom He chooses. And yet it still always remains His, to do with what He will.

We are stewards of the world. He gave us this planet, but it still belongs to Him. We should be looking after it, I think. We should be constant gardeners.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

How does one love one's enemies and build God's kingdom? If your enemies trash the place, how do you love them and build the kingdom?

You see, there are all these dark blemishes in this painting, and I wanted to contemplate white on white.

Am I in the cloud or on the Caribbean beach sand?