20 February 2026

Do not pray in vain repetitions like the pagans do. Matthew 5. The problem here is not praying or repetition, it is vanity — pride, anything without God.

Feeling dizzy lately. There is something crawling around in my inner ear.

Love without God is vain. Love is not to be worshipped instead of God. Love without God is a consuming fever. John Donne.

I ain't feeling so good. I feel feverish.

This painting looks like sand to me today. Windswept Caribbean beach sand. A strange, rigid, mechanical wind that has made ridges in a grid-like pattern. Hot sun, no water, desert. The occasional stone breaking the repetitive monotony.

I started here. You understand that? In a circular hut with a water moat.

Little pockmarks where drizzle has started to fall. Maybe even rain.

Oh, and a home. I forgot to pray for a home.